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Graeme Swann: The Breaks Are Off

The Sun has been serialising Graeme Swann’s autobiography – entitled The Breaks are Off - this week. By the look of things so far it appears to be far more than the standard banal fare that permeates so many of today’s mid-career sporting ‘autobiographies’.

So far we have learnt that:

  • Swann thought that Kevin Pietersen should never have been made England captain and that the former captain’s advice to his bowlers on the 2008 tour of India was at one point, “F****** bowl  f****** straight”.
  • Swann, tongue-in-cheek, thinks Andrew Strauss should take his place in the House of Lords when he retires.
  • Alastair Cook is not a natural public speaker and Swann has to look away to avoid laughing at him.
  • Phil Mustard accidentally dropped himself in it by saying, “he looked fine when I left him at five” of Jesse Ryder who half an hour later infamously put his hand through a glass door.
  • A South African sausage enabled him to win over the hostile crowd on his England debut.
  • Nasser Hussain, he who seems so happy to be the butt of jokes in the Sky commentary box, displayed his fiery temper when comfronted with a petualant Swann on his maiden England tour.
  • And that on the same tour, Swann was punched by Darren Gough and mistaken for a 14 year-old schoolboy by an air hostess.

Will these, along with other anecdotes presented so brilliantly by Swann and ghost writer Richard Gibson, tempt you to buy the book when it is released tomorrow? Or have you been scarred by the otherwise dull offerings of our cricketing elite? Please have your say in the comments below.